Glenn Beck Punked
Caller to Conservative Radio Show Speaks of
Drinking Own Urine, Shutting Glenn Up
It was all in Spanish
It happened about seven and a half hours ago, and all day long I
couldn't wait to get home and read about it in someone else's blog.
But I can't find mention of it anywhere; apparently Glenn Beck's
show is even more insignificant than it would seem. And aside
from the audio link (for paying folks only), there's no record of it
on Glenn's website (I wonder how long it took them to edit the
audio). But it did happen - I heard it!
Okay, so I'm at work, listening to hate radio (the only political talk this small Texas town airs - no Air America, Stephanie Miller, or Ed Schultz to be found) -- you know, for comic relief -- when find the Glenn Beck Show. If you don't know much about Beck, just know he's a mediocre Limbaugh clone; in fact, on one of the local stations his show airs immediately prior to Rump Leakage 's program. I'm digressing...
Anyway, in response to a Latin music adaptation of The Star Spangled Banner, and during a rant about immigration reform, Glenn decided to have one of his callers - some guy calling himself Ramón - translate his sentiments for those would-be illegal immigrants too stupid to understand English.
Beck launched into some lame Archie Bunker thing about the borders, pausing every few words for Ramón's translation. My Spanish ear kicked in, as it usually does, and for a moment I wondered if I'd understand Ramón's words at all (some dialects throw me off). Well, I did understand him, and immediately it was clear to me this guy wasn't about to correctly translate Glenn's words.
"Ah, Glenn's treating us to another 'comedy' routine," I first thought. "How lame is this one going to be?"
But no! This was no comedy routine. Not intentionally, anyway.
One of Ramón's first translations was, "Glenn wants us to drink our own urine" ("Glenn quiere que nos beben el orine"*). Ramón mentioned Glenn sitting in his big, comfortable chair, drinking Corona beer, and getting fat on tortillas. Toward the end of Beck's diatribe, Ramón recommended his Latino friends send the radio host lots of cheeseburgers and ice cream, to shut Beck up.
Imagine...
"Because it is illegal for you to enter our country..."
"Because Glenn wants to continue sitting in his big, nice chair..."
"And this country of ours is a nation of laws..."
"And he wants to get fat on Corona beer and cheeseburgers..."
It was sublime.
Yes, all the while a little voice in my head was saying "this is really unhinged satire," but that line about drinking one's own urine was just too much for any conservative's radio show. Mike Malloy or Randi Rhodes - cutting edge. Glenn Beck - a dull spoon.
As I said before, I was at work, and had nothing on which to write any of this down. But I knew I was witnessing a Greg from Orlando moment. In Spanish.
Thank you, Ramón!
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*Technically it's "Orina," but most commonly it's "orine." As used in casual converstaion, "orine" is not quite as vulgar as the American "piss," but not quite as sterile as the scientific "urine."
