Women Barred from Front-Line Combat
Men Barred from Abu Ghraib Guilt
Rove pleased with gradual, subtle implication. "They're independent. They're strong. They beat men. Hello? Can you say f-e-m-i-n-i-s-t?"
Straightforward message "easy to sell," says Majority leader Bill Frist. "It's contrived and simpl... well, it's contrived enough to market."
Recruitment Goals Down; Army Raises Maximum Age
VP files sixth deferment 'just in case'
Analysts blame disastrous Iraq campaign for drop in Army, Marine goals, but the administration disagrees. "Air Force, Navy, and Coast Guard are doing fine."
It's no secret President Bush
is steady, resolute, and unwavering in
his beliefs. For instance, when it comes to photojournalism you know exactly where he stands.
Reacting 
to the recently published photos of the captured former Iraqi leader in his underwear, George Bush spoke in no uncertain terms. "I don't think photos inspire murderers," Bush told FOX News' chief political correspondent and boot polisher Carl "Stammerin" Cameron. "These people are motivated by a vision of the world that is backward and barbaric, so a simple photo is nothing that'll change their ways." Faithfully unyielding, as always, Bush's stance on this matter is literally immovable.
"Besides," continued the president, "Muslim extremists actually hated Saddam Hussein. If anything, these pictures might make 'em more open to the idea of freedom that we Americans and Englicans love so much."
Bush wrapped up his analysis of The Sun's tractable story with a quote from the Good Book. "In Phillipines Jesus says, 'If a picture paints a hundred words, then why can't the human being and fish coexist peacefully?' In other words," clarified the eloquent executive, "our children really is learning."
Words Inspire Murderers
Newsweek repeating of three-year old well-known story is treason.
It's no secret President Bush is steady, resolute, and unwavering in his beliefs. For instance, when it comes to print journalism you know exactly where he stands.
Reacting 
to the recently published story of American soldiers flushing the Qu'uran down a toilet, George Bush spoke in no uncertain terms. "I think words could inspire murderers," Bush told FOX News' chief political correspondent and boot polisher Carl "Stammerin" Cameron. "These people are motivated by a vision of the world that is backward and barbaric, so even a unverified rumor could inspire them to kill." Faithfully unyielding, as always, Bush's stance on this matter is literally immovable.
"Besides," continued the president, "Muslims synthesize with Saddam Hussein. Without a doubt the Newsweek story has made evildoers hate the freedoms we Americans and Eurologists love so much."
Bush wrapped up his analysis of Newsweek's treason with a quote from the Good Book. "In Leviathans God says, 'Fool me once, shame on others as they will fool me twice.' In other words," clarified the eloquent executive, "the folks at Newsweek should really watch their mouth."