 PFC (that's E-3, folks) England |
"Every single soldier, airman, Marine, and sailor is my boss, and I take great pride in the fact that the very lowest of junior enlisted folks involved in the Abu Ghraib college pranks owned up to their isolated incidents," admitted the grumpy old man. "Linndy and Chuck (Graner), practically CEOs to me, stood up and took responsibility for their despicable actions. Seeing someone in such a high position do that means a lot to those of us at the bottom of the chain of command."
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| Generals Sanchez & Fast, Colonel Pappas, and Captain Reese are lucky to work for honest Junior Enlisted folks, like Corporal Charles Graner and Private Linndy England. | |||
The flag officers under England and Graner are equally impressed. "She's a real, stand-up kind of gal," boasted Lieutenant General Sanchez. Major General Barbara Fast, speaking from her Cochise, Arizona estate, told FOX News "Linndy's got the right stuff. Soldiers hoping to make Private First Class should look to her example for leadership."
Runaway Neocon Agenda Fakes Own Kidnapping
Although jilted, Senator Joe Lieberman still wants to marry.
A Democrat who'd come very close to marrying Ms. Neocon Agenda still thinks he can make amends with his gal. "Haven't we all made mistakes?"
"Just
 Ms. Neocon Agenda |
But police say Lieberman is out of the picture at this point.
Agenda was only after Lieberman's vote, say authorities, and was planning to seduce numerous other Democrats as well. Unfortunately for her, however, bloggers had revealed her intentions. Her scheme exposed and under duress, she was forced to flee.
"She'd gotten desperate recently," Norfolk County Sheriff Dick York told the FOX News Channel. "She dyed her hair Holy Blue, got her two faces lifted, and even changed her name to 'Neocon Compassion'," York added. "Her first nervous fit came when she jumped on that Walmart jet and flew to some offshore tax shelter." But bloggers were all over that one, too, according to York.
Ms. Agenda, more anxious by the day, then attempted to turn a desperate couple's love for their vegetative daughter into a political commodity - but upon failing quickly disowned the nasty scene she'd created. Soon thereafter Neocon contacted friends and family through an Evangelical Telecast, where she falsely claimed she'd been kidnapped.
"Hopefully that'll be the last straw," sighed Sheriff York. "Technically, she's still a runaway, but we all know where she's at. I think America has finally seen what she's capable of, and won't lose track of her again."