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"Don't Cut My Memaw's Misitifer!"
A FOX News Exclusive

Doctors say Cordelia Throop died in 1903. Family members don't see it that way.

Doctors say Cordelia Throop died in 1903.
Family members disagree.

Kathy Damron of Beulah, Florida is desperately trying to keep the remains of her great, great, great-grandmother, Cordelia Throop, alive and well. According to medical records, Throop passed away in 1903. However, her body has never decomposed. In fact, Throop's corpse has been cared for by the Damrons for over a century.

Damron family members say as long as they can keep Throop's body immersed in a steady mist of "secret tonic" it will continue to thrive. "Only God can take her away from us - not nobody else!" The Damrons are convinced the preservation of Throop's body is God's will; by nearly all accounts she still communicates through her century-old corpse. Legend has it in 1953 Cordelia shed a fingernail to indicate she wanted her window closed, and just recently she's said to have cried when nearby family members were in a heated argument. "We seen a tear appear on her precious, little cheek," recounted a family friend. "It rolled right off, but we all seen it when it popped out." Terry Bechtol, sometimes-local minister, sometimes-patron of local hookers, remarked, "I've Throop's atomizer

heard at least one account of the night Cordelia sobbed, and I just can't believe people would consider her corpse completely dead without giving it a second thought."

Until last year the Damrons had managed to privately maintain Throop's body, but then the family starting having "financial issues." It was at this time John Fogg, Pensacola mayor and second-cousin to Kathy Damron's fourth ex-husband, decided to take action. "Given the fact that everyone is a precious child of God," Fogg explained, "I had no choice but to allow the county to provide (Damron's) utilities at no cost. It will stay this way until she can get back on her feet."

But many voters are up in arms over the situation, demanding the mayor stop using their taxes to help a "crazy cause." To date, local residents have tried twice to force Damron to either pay her way, or just "move on and accept the death of a 200 year-old relative." Michael Warrenton, representing local tax-payer interests, has twice triumphed in court. But Fogg won't sway. "Like a good conservative, I've got the

Kathy Damron

resolve of a mule," he sternly admits.

Nevertheless, the situation isn't going away. Pensacolians aren't standing for it. According to one local poll, over half of the panhandle's residents think Fogg and the Damrons are abusing county tax revenues. Of those responding to the poll, 54% said the mayor is playing political football, 37% said the family should "bury her already," and 20% simply said the Damron family is "nuts." However, nearly half of those polled agreed the mayor and Damron family are doing the right thing. "You don't hear much about that," a source close to the family told FOX News, "but approximately forty-five percent of all local residents support Fogg and the Damrons. That's almost a mandate."

Doctors and scientists disagree with the Damron family's characterization of the situation. They say the body's resistance to a "natural course of deterioration" is simply a freak occurence. "Believe it or not," explained Dr. Jacob Miller, a local pathologist, "this type of thing happens a lot more than you might think. We call it rigor mortis proprius, but I've never seen it become a political issue like this."

Damron keeps Cordelia at home.

However, some have said Dr. Miller and his contemporaries are the ones playing political football. "They talk about this happening before, in the past, in other places, but I've never seen anything like it. Have you? A body that doesn't die, but instead just continues to communicate with its heirs through its very own fingernails and tear ducts? It's just ridiculous these quacks aren't being straightforward with the public," say some, "because these bodies are obviously still alive. How else can you explain it?"