FOX News: The Most Powerful Smell in News.

The only thing that bothers me more than filthy sand-monkeys homicide-bombing themselves in the name of anti-freedom is hypocrisy.

We all know a hypocrite or two, don't we? The guy who preaches to you about moral standards, though he's broken more rules than Satan himself. The politician who lectures us on deviant sexual perversions, while hiding his own licentious liaisons of lewdness. The political party that feigns an unwavering support of our military, but only when they're the ones sending it into danger's way.

Hypocrites make me sick. And the worst kind of hypocrite is an officer acting against the office, or corps, for which he works. You know the kind: sworn to uphold the greater interest of the company, department, division, or even nation for whom he works, but instead breaks the rules in the name of some harebrained ideology. Some narcissist who'd just as soon enable the enemy as disavow his precious, narrow perspective.

It is that combination of stupidity, narcissism, and hypocrisy that drives a guy who signed up to support a greater cause than himself to totally destroy the integrity once synonymous with his position through the dastardly act of TREASON. Indeed, traitors are guilty of the ultimate hypocrisy.

Now, I've dealt with a lot of hypocrisy in my time, and I'm practically an expert at spotting it. So it shouldn't be too hard for you to imagine the disdain I feel for Mr. W. Mark Felt, a.k.a. 'Deep Throat.'

For those of you might not know, 'Deep Throat' was the traitor who tattled to the Washington Post about Richard Nixon's harmless little practical jokes during the 1972 presidential campaign. You know the sort of thing - penny jamming doors, water balloons from balconies, breaking and entering, etc.

As the Deputy Director of the F.B.I., W. Mark Felt was basically a servant of the people of the United States of America. But that obviously never occurred to Mr. Felt, who had better things than accountability to occupy his time.

Instead, rumors have it, Felt was angry at Tricky Dick for passing him over, and so he scampered off to a couple of long-haired, dope-smoking Washington Post reporters -- Bill Woodard and Hal Goldstein I think their names were -- to exaggerate the details behind some harmless pranks G. Gordon Liddy and his friends had pulled on the Democrats. Starving for something negative to counteract all the good news coming in from Vietnam, Woodard and Goldstein jumped on the story. It didn't take long for a cannibalistic American media machine to devour and regurgitate the Deputy Director's ridiculous embellishments.

But no amount of poetic license can keep such drama exciting after thirty years, and news of Throat's identity has brought most of us red-blooded Americans to the realization that a very important man betrayed his president and his country. After all, officers of the government are officers of the people. They are obligated to serve the American people based on the rule of law, not on some condescending belief of how things "should be."

(How many times have you been lectured by a hypocrite bearing the insufferable dictum 'The Way Things Ought to Be'?)

W. Mark Felt was compelled to uphold the Constitution. But uphold he did not. And for that we shall never forgive him.

A Few 'Grievous' Torturers in Guantanamo Bay? No Big Deal.
One Organization Calling the Prison a 'Gulag'? Reprehensible!
Defensive Secretary reiterates only he can alter definitions to fit message.

Donald Rumsfeld isn�t too happy with the vast, left-wing liberal media conspiracy.

"Great googly-moogly," chimed the cheery churl. "That group of Amnesty International hooligans have compared Gitmo to a Gulag," Rumsfeld protested, "it's simply reprehensible!"

Rumsfeld was responding to the 2005 State of the World's Human Rights report by Amnesty International, wherein the U.S. policies in Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay have been compared those of Gulags.

Yesterday, Politically correct with politically incorrect attitude. between statements about the U.S. Victory Strategy, an alarming increase in Homicide Bombers, and his detailed discussion of America's policy of going to war with the Army it Has (and not the Army it Wants), Rumsfeld rejected Amnesty International's usage of a technically incorrect description. "Golly-gee willikers," insisted the Defensive Secretary, "everyone knows 'gulags' were harsh, cruel, and inhumane Soviet labor camps! But we're not Soviets!"

Being far more magnanimous an organization than anything even remotely involved with the Bush administration, Amnesty International has apologized for the 'Gulag' characterization. "Although there are some similarities," said a spokeswoman, "we regret the usage of the term 'gulag' to describe a collection of secret prisons where inmates are neglected, tortured, and sometimes even killed." plan to continue discrediting the organization until it can get political mileage out of it again.

As for the actual allegations within the report, Rumsfeld remains blasé. "Grand grappling goshness, I don't know how true those accusations are, nor do I care! What do I look like,
a pansy?"