FOX News: The Most Powerful Smell in News

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All material herein © 2001 - 2005

Original Faux News Logo © 2001 (read it and weep)

'Spinner' Logo © 2003

This hilarious, satire-rich web site chock full of full political mockery is in no way associated with the Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Brit Hume, Tony Snow, Oliver North, Geraldo Rivera, John Gibson, FOX & Friends, Greta von Susteren, or any other part of the idiotic Fox News Channel. All material herein is intended as parody. Similarities in format or "personnel" are satirical. If you're looking for a case of the Big Hammer, sue away, you conservative wing nut. I could use the material.

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Pornography on FOX News?

Yes - exactly a year ago, in fact. Our wonderful, moral friends at FNC showed a nice, detailed closeup of a penis penetrating a vagina. On primetime TV. Click the graphic for a (ahem) closer view.

Reagan Rise

This is my worst flash project ever. Not because it's a tacky and largely unfunny jab at a dead president, no. Because I SUCK at flash. But if you're really really bored, and watch the thing, at least you'll get the idea. . . if you enable all the right stuff, "extras," etc. (not sure even what those are, because, again . . . I SUCK at flash).

Rush Sings Rush

My horrible attempt at musical humor. Click the graphic to the right for a listen.

Actually, I'm a decent musician. This isn't a karaoke version of "A Passage to Bangkok" over which I recorded some lame, Limbaugh impersonation. It's me playing all the instruments, and then recording some lame, Limbaugh impersonation.

Wait . . . it's me picking out all the parts (can't read music), then playing the instruments, and then recording some lame, Limbaugh impersonation.

It still sucks. For the lyrics, click here.

Arnie's Ad

Okay, I've officially gotten desperate now.

This is from 2003. Again, the voice impersonation is weak.

But at least you can hear some of my (very old) original music here.

Neil's Mail

More 2003 stuff.

In the days before I realized I could call the FOX News assholes by their real names, Neil Cavuto was "Neil Calzone."

This is probably my best flash project (that's not saying much) - and check the Bartcop reference (my hero).

Meet the Stagnatists

Where did I find so much time in 2003?

This is my first flash project. A rundown of the caricatures - kind of a preview of things to come - put to some of my old digital music.

Resting on My Laurels Video & Audio Edition

Thursday, July 14th -

CLOSE YOUR EARS WHEN YOU
ARGUE WITH A CONSERVATIVE!

I'm still "on vacation," but watching this Karl Rove thing unfold in the arena of political talk shows has compelled me to break away for a moment, to offer some serious, non-satirical advice to anyone who both reads this and wishes to argue our case:

CLOSE YOUR EARS WHEN YOU ARGUE WITH A CONSERVATIVE.

I mean that figuratively, but if you have to put your fingers over your ears to stop hearing their jabbering, DO IT!

We forward-thinkers are, ironically, more right-brained than our neocon-anderthal cousins. Hence, we're better at communicating (among so many other things). This means we can HEAR AND TALK AT THE SAME TIME.

Unfortunately, in today's atmosphere of talking head-political tacticians, this attribute seems more like a liability. It's what drives me crazy about most of us liberals. We're three words into our argument... the right-wing nutjob next to us decides to interrupt... so we SHUT UP SO WE CAN HEAR THEM TALK. It's not what we want to do... it's what we're wired to do. I've seen it a million times.

LEARN TO WORK AROUND THIS REFLEX! Please please please...

I just watched a Democratic spokesman on MSNBC get creamed in what should have been the easiest debate of his life - simply because he couldn't stop stammering every time Monica Crowley interrupted him.

We all need to learn that the conservative mind excels at the singular, tunnel-vision tactic. Any tactic. We, the strategists, are the BIG PICTURE viewers. Those with ingrown tunnel-vision can easily ignore their neighbors' racket, while, unfortunately for us, the "big picture" includes what the Nazis next door are screaming.

CLOSE YOUR EARS WHEN YOU ARGUE WITH A CONSERVATIVE.